The Smallest Trick of Light

Five Iron Frenzy once said “When I was young the smallest trick of light could catch my eye.” I was thinking about how true that was today while I was worrying about all of the variables in my life that now scream for my attention. When i was young, my biggest worry was whether i would get my homework done in time to dash outside to play with my childhood friends. I had time to be curious, to look around and notice the little things. Now however, I have bills to pay, a job to go to, homework that takes a lot longer than one night to finish and hardly any free time due to the crazy schedule. For some reason though, I’ve found that when I focus my attention on God, and find time for Him amidst the craziness of life, eveything fades away. I have time to notice even the smallest tricks of light; the bigger stressors seem minute.

Eye Opening

This last weekend i went as a chaperone to a convention/outreach at the Pepsi Center called Dare To Share. The past few times that I’ve gone to this outreach I was in awe of the event as a whole, but this year was a little different. Rather than trying to get the most out of it myself, I was praying for the teens in the youth group. I prayed that God would break their hearts for Him and that they would realize that loving Him isn’t as uncool as their actions proclaimed it to be. I didn’t focus as much on feeling God move in my life like I always expect to at these kinds of events, but rather i cried out to Him to move in these young kids lives like they had never experienced before.

My eyes were opened also to the realization that comfort is not always beneficial when attending youth functions like this one! Hmm, weird. Who would have thought, right? But this year [and the previous year, which i didn't attend] the youth group had box seating. They had a nice little reserved suite with plush seats. No more waking up at the crack of dawn to speed in our church van to beat the rush, no more waiting in a gargantuan line for an hour to race the other nine thousand teens for close seats and no more worrying about losing our good seats during the break for lunch if we managed to find some.

BUT. Because of those good seats, I felt like the kids weren’t receiving the full experience. There’s just something about sitting down by the floor with other youth groups surrounding you, lifting their hands in worship and singing praises to God at the top of their lungs. When you’re down in those stadium seats you have a feeling of oneness. A feeling that even though you are just one teen, you’re one God-fearing teen among MANY. Four or five years ago, when I attended as a student, i felt united with the other believers in the auditorium, but this year I felt secluded for the sake of suede seats. I wanted to tell the teens that attended with us to stand up and lift their hands, put their phones away and connect with God, forget about their best friend next to them and worry about their Heavenly Father who’s longing to be their closest confidante.

I was so frustrated, especially when I realized that I couldn’t do anything about it. The kids had to choose to make the weekend what they wanted it to be, and maybe because of that they will one day be all the better for it. They’ll learn that they can’t always feel God in an easy way, but they have to take steps and often fight to find and feel Him in their lives. But at the same time i decided to start choosing God before comfort, whether that means stepping out of my comfort zone to share my faith or waking up earlier to have devotions. I need to start taking steps to make my life what I know God wants it to be.